6, 8, okay...10
Sometimes we get into something, a job, a relationship, and it is good....REALLY good. Then it gets bad. But we get so scared, of having to find the new job, the new relationship, newness is so frightening sometimes. So scary that we stay in what is bad. Because we tell ourselves, "Hey, it's not that bad right? I mean, it could be worse. It's not like ...blah, blah, blah." Then we see how much time has gone by. That makes it even scarier. But some times you have to make the leap. Leap forward off the cliff of monotony and failure and pained comfort.
That initial free fall is f'in scary! Your arms flail about and your stomach comes up into your throat and you think, "Holy crap, what did I just do?!!!?" But then the falling slows and you land and you're still here...all in one piece.. and the scenery is new and hey, this isn't that bad after all. New is fun and exciting! Why the hell did I wait this long?
So yeah, I danced for a looong time. And yes, I was ashamed. Part of me still is. But I have turned a new page. I have flipped the script! It wasn't all a waste. And I couldn't be happier with my newness.