Lace 2 and partying with the boys

Ok...so this is where I ended up after a night of partying on New Yrs Eve. http://www.laceclubs.com/lace2.asp ...Lace 2. Cover was $40 bucks. And boy, this place is frickin" tiny!! Now I have been to Lace in NJ, but this was very different. And I have to say Hustler is still my fave in NYC. I mean it was New Yrs Eve, but still, the service was reallly bad. But it was because they had ONE waitress. And as anyone knows on a holiday like NYE she is going to be forced to party with the boys. It was obvious she had been partying. Poor girl. I would have had a hard time too. She was sweet, but definitely wasted, but then again so was everyone else in there!

You see, men in strip clubs love for girls to party with them. Whatever "party" means for them. But usually that means drinking....shot for shot with them. There were times in my career that I tried not to drink, just to give my poor liver a break. But every time I would make less money. Because guys would actually send you away.

Say you sat down with a table. You are laughing, getting along, and then the waitress comes over to take everyone's drink order.

...Jack and Coke, shot of 1800, Heineken,... and for the lady???

Uh, yeah, I will have a Sprite.

Then it was like one of those cartoon moments when all the guys look at you in unison. "A sprite?!?" Then their eyes start shifting, "Hey honey, get your drink and then come back a little bit later, ok?" Yeah, I knew what that meant. I would get the obligatory smack on the ass and sent on my way, only to see 3 other girls there in a matter of moments drinking with the 3 stooges. And it was like that table after table. I could fare a little better with single guys but groups, forget it. More often than not, you better be ready to party hard or move along.

I think it is because they really do want you to party with them...to be on the same level. They think if your are drunk, then it is less like you are working, less like all you want is their money. But the truth is, drunk or not, I still wanted to make money. But I also think some where in their head it is like being at a real club. They think if I can get this girl drunk, then maybe we can have a little fun. And hell, I am not saying that that hasn't worked on occasion for certain guys and certain dancers. But for the most part it is the same whether your dancer drinks or not. In fact it is usually bad for you to try to get her drunk, because she does this every night and she can usually drink your ass under the table. Then it is you who gets drunk and taken advantage of. It's like the old saying you can't get laid in a strip club, but you sure can get f*#ked. :)

Savannah and the Smack Me guy

OK, so there was this guy who used to come and see this girl Savannah and loved for her to hit him during dances. And I don't mean love taps. I mean he wanted her to knock the fire out of him. She was very well built, with long beautiful hair and very muscular but not scary big, just big enough. And when she hit this guy you could here it across the club. Smack! Bam! Crack! And he LOVED it! Everyone would drop what they were doing to watch them. I loved to watch. I was willing to pass up a dance just to watch. Puuure entertainment.

More miss and don't miss about the strip club and being a stripper

Things I miss:

FIGHTS!

1.Cat fights, or should I say bitch fights. Man...girls fought hard and often where I worked, well like once every other month. Using shoes and beer bottles, crazzzzy stuff. It always left the room buzzing. I mean, it was horrible, but you couldn't help to get caught up in it and talk about it with every one. I mean some of the girls I worked with had a few screws loose you know, then they would get drunk and mad at each other. Oh, easy entertainment. It is like a car crash, you can't help but look then you tell your friend ..mannnn I saw this really bad wreck!

2.On the same note, chicks flippin' out on customers and fighting with them. I've seen girls straight up punch dudes in the face. Beautiful. Grab my boob, you get warned, do it again, you get knocked the fuck out! I mean some of those guys deserved it.

3. Ok..... I loved watching girls getting so wasted they would start major drama with the managers until it reached the point where they should just stop, but they were so drunk that they couldn't. And then they would get fired. It would be really dramatic with make up smeared and half street clothes half stripper clothes dragging her stuff out the door, as it fell out of her bag ...cussing everyone on the way out. But they would always be back the next day. You see, you never really get fired from a titty bar... I love that. I was never fired by the way.

4.The best was customer fights. Full out bar brawls. Like WWF right up in the club!! The music would stop and the bouncers would come to save the day. I don't know why it was always so exciting, but it was. (I mean they never got too far because of the bouncers.) And I'm not the only one who thought so too. You always felt like you missed out if it went down while you were in the dressing room.

5. And lastly, closing early on a slow night. God bless the early close!


Things I don't miss

1.Smelling like beer and cigarettes.

2.Customers with sticky fingers. I hated when customers stole my outfits. Assholes. What are you going to do, wear it? Actually, I know what you are goign to do...eewww.

3.Guys, who after you dance for a dollar tip on stage for like 15 seconds, say, "Is that it?" Really? A dollar? Is THAT it dude?

4.Guys who wore wind pants....ickkk. Do I need to explain?

5. Girls who steal your makeup. I wanted to get pink eye and leave it all over eyeliner that I never use so that the hoochie who stole it wakes up with crusty eyes.


That reminds me of a story. A girl once asked to borrow my concealer. I said, "Sure!"

She then proceeded to dab my concealer on the pimple on her butt, and then handed it back to me. I was dumbfounded. I just said," Its OK. Keep it." Gross!!!